Privileged

Last night I got the privilege of rocking my little one to sleep. I say it is a privilege because we all know little missy is pretty set in her ways. She is not a cuddler, and ever since she was a wee little thing, she has insisted on being put to bed while still awake. Don't get me wrong, she's very affectionate. She loves to be held and will give you the most fabulous slobbery kisses, but she just has better things to do than to sit still and rock.

When her fever spiked again yesterday evening and her appetite dramatically decreased, I knew we were in for a long night. At about 10:30, when she woke up crying, I went in to find her sitting at the end of the crib reaching up for me. She had that glassy-eyed, sick look to her, so I scooped her up and took her to my beloved rocking chair. Little missy never let go of me for a moment. She clung to my chest and rested her head on my shoulder while her poor little body tried to relax. Soon her breathing became slower and more rhythmic, and I could tell she was ready to give in to sleep.

I'm selfish, though. I wanted to hold her while she slept not only because she hardly allows me the opportunity, but also because she is growing up so quickly. It seems strange to say that about a 9 month old, but scarcely a year ago, we were barely making progress on preparing for her. Now, she is a living, breathing, smiling, standing, laughing, crawling, babbling, playing, climbing, eating, kissing, mischief-making person. So, we rocked.

As I listened to her breathe, I am suddenly struck by the magnitude of the miracle of life. Science tries to prove how simple it all is, but I am marveling at the complexity of this little being that came from one cell of me and one cell of John. Each cell in her little body has its own purpose. And, without each cell operating according to its purpose, she would not be. How could I possibly entertain the notion that this complex being originated from some primordial sludge? It seems like that takes much more faith than to know that the God of the universe created Cora according to His purpose. Innevitably, the question that comes to mind is why. Not why did God create Cora. As her mom, I know how much I love her and can't imagine being without her. The Bible teaches that God loves His children more than we can ever imagine. So, undoubtably, God loves this precious creature in ways that I can't even comprehend. My question is why did God choose to bless ME with her. I know I haven't proven myself worthy, nor will I ever be able to prove that I deserve this gift. But, fortunately, my God does not operate on some sort of heavenly reward system. He does not keep points, nor do we have an account for deposits and withdrawals. I will never know why we didn't struggle with fertility like so many couples that I know. All I can do is thank God for the privilege of rocking this sweet baby.

Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to be a part of this lovely creature's life.
Thank you for each moment good and bad, happy and sad.
May I continue to see each moment as a moment to be cherished.
Lord, please give me the wisdom to raise this child to be an example of your word.
Amen