Running

Sometimes I can hear a song a thousand times before the meaning really hits me.  And, then when it hits me, it's that awesome moment of clarity, a powerful a-ha moment.  I've mentioned before that I'm not the greatest singer in the world...though after watching the latest American Idol auditions, I'm certainly not the worst either!  But, I do love to sing.  And, I find that a lot of worship music really speaks to me in a way that often just hearing a message does not.  On Sunday we sang Forever Reign.
(Oh) I'm running to Your arms
I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign.
And, I started to visualize what it would be like to actually run to Jesus' arms.  You know, to literally run to the arms of my Savior.  It's hard to imagine what kind of joy you would feel.  Suddenly, I was thinking about my sweet babies.  I love that feeling of coming in the door after being away and hearing little feet running and little voices shouting my name joyfully.  I can barely put my things down before I have two little torpedoes barreling toward me.  John doesn't even make it through the door anymore.  Cora has learned to recognize the sound of his truck pulling into the driveway.  As soon as he turns the truck off, she and Carys shoot out the door rain or shine to greet him.  It's not that their day was terrible or that they had spent the day anxious for his return.  It's more so that at that moment, they recognized something was missing.  Something special.  Something safe.  Something that provides and protects.  Something loving and kind.  And, at that moment, all they know is the need to be in those arms.  Nothing is going to keep them from those arms at that moment.  I remember one time when Cora was around 2 years old.  John had to be away for some training; we hadn't seen him in a couple of weeks.  When he came through the door, she could not get to him quickly enough.  She buried her head in his neck and just hugged him as tight as her tiny little arms could manage.  When I tried to hug the both of them, she quite literally just pushed me away.  She was not about to let anyone or anything interfere with her being in his arms.  You see, while she was there, she felt secure and complete.

It's not that John and I don't get a charge out of that kind of devotion, too.  One of my friends told me once that having children is like having your heart walking around on the outside of your body. Isn't that the truth!  Honestly, I had no idea the kind of aching love that you feel for those little selfish, egocentric, helpless and needy, yet in every way amazing creatures.   Having my children scramble to see me after I've been away is pure joy.  It is almost unfathomable to think that God in heaven feels the same way - except, in that case, it is not He who has been away.  He is constantly there; I am the one who thinks I need to do it on my own.  The really fantastic part is that when I recognize that I can't, I don't have to wait for Him to pull in the driveway or come through the door before I run to Him; He is always close.  He is always there with mercy, grace, security and love.  He is constant.  And, even more than that, He feels joy when I draw near.  Imagine that!  The Creator of this universe feels joy because of me!  It begs the question of why I feel I must ever be away?  Well, I'm human, and I'm stubborn, but I hope that one day I will recognize that the security of that embrace is more than anything this world has to offer.  Until then, I guess I'm going to keep on running.

Art

This past weekend was a little touch and go for me.  Apparently, I am highly allergic to the world around me (at least in its current season).  For those of you who are unfamiliar, in this part of the world, it is cedar season.  If you've never heard of cedar fever, please take my word and count your blessings.  It's not necessarily a painful affliction, but it is the type of illness that makes you want to punch yourself in the face just to get some relief from the itching and burning.  It looks like claritin will be my new best friend until late February.  sigh

Cora was being super sweet and took it upon herself to draw me a get well picture.  This was her masterpiece.

Y'all, I was so excited.  For most 4 1/2 year olds, this picture would be no big deal.  But, for my little girl, this was nothing short of a masterpiece.  One of the manifestations of Cora's sensory processing disorder is a motor skill delay.  So, the fact that she actually drew me a picture (of a rainbow - see the colors! :D ) is really exciting for me.  I love the fact that she drew straight, strong lines.  John helped her with writing my name, but everything else was all Cora.  Go girl!  I'm looking forward to more art soon!

{Way Back Weekend} It's A...

When we first told Cora that she was going to be a big sister for the second time, her response was something to the effect of "Ya, you have baby Carys in your tummy."  We had to clear that little misconception up pretty quickly.  Still, she insisted that her new sibling was definitely a girl.  In fact, she named the baby "Jewel."  She was completely adamant about it.  In fact, when we asked her what if baby is a boy, she did reply with an enthusiastic "That would be great!  But, it's a girl!" People, she had me believing....

Then, we went to the anatomy scan.  Yup, we're pretty certain that this little baby is in fact a....BOY!  What a shock!  Even John was a little bit taken aback.  I think Cora had us both believing that we only make girls.  We're pretty excited, though, about meeting this little man.

I will admit that I had a bit of a panic attack thinking about having a boy.  My formative parenting years have been filled with girls.  But, it recently occurred to me that this must be the same type feeling that John went through when we found out Cora was a girl.  And, John is an amazing dad.  That gives me great hope that I can rise up to the challenge of being a great mom to a boy.  Thankfully, God gives me my children as babies so that I can grow into my role as a parent.  I'm sure when little mr. Jackson (middle name tbd) gets here, these worries are going to seem so silly and unnecessary.  Can't wait to find out!

{Way Back Weekend} A Birthday Treat

Cora's 4th birthday very neatly corresponded with the release of Brave.  So, it seemed that Cora was meant to have her first theater experience for her birthday.  To make it even more special, we invited one of Cora's oldest friends, Eliana, to join us.  And, if you're going to a movie for your birthday, you must have some popcorn.  Am I right, or am I right?!

Cora and I really enjoyed the movie.  In fact, Merida and Cora share a lot of similarities.  I was thankful when she received the dvd from Mema and P-pa for Christmas.

After the movie, we had a ladies' lunch with Ms. Susy and Eliana.  Unfortunately, we waited a little too long to try to get a couple of pictures of the girls.  This was the best we could manage.

Such happy campers!  From this picture, you would think that we just fed them spinach and made them clean their rooms rather than wining and dining them all morning.  It was a fun day even if the picture speaks otherwise!

Two Year Well Check

Today was Carys' two year well check.  I learned my lesson to not schedule well checks before Christmas when Cora was 6 months old.  Vaccinations + holiday mayhem = a difficult holiday all around.  And, yet, I was still dreading having the appointment.  I think I may still be a little gun-shy after Cora's memorable 4 year appointment.   Blessedly Cora was invited to some friends' house this morning, leaving me to take Carys by herself.  (Thanks, Rose Marie, Ruth, Erin and Vivi!)  It turns out that Carys was actually current on all her immunizations (sans the flu shot which we do not do).  So, that was an unexpected bonus.  Pretty much everything checked out as normal even her weight.  (Whew!)  She is up to 21.5 lbs and 31 inches, still clinging to the 3rd percentile.  However, her BMI puts her in the 15th percentile.  I'm not sure how that works, but I'm happy that Dr. Mitchell was happy with her weight.  Bebecita did manage to gain 3 lbs since her last well check.

I did have one small concern that I mentioned to Dr. Mitchell.  Sometimes, I'm fairly certain that my background in early childhood education and child development may put unnecessary thoughts in my mind. Nevertheless, I would rather take care of a problem now than wait and have a problem progress.  Anyhow, I have mentioned before in ye olde blog about Carys' speech or sometimes lack thereof.  Though she is a little chatterbox now, her articulation is a bit of a concern for me.  I can probably understand about 80% of what she says, but I am with her all.the.time.  I don't think most others can understand her nearly as well.  My concern is that she's not hearing properly.  I know she can hear.  She responds to her name and to questions.  She can follow complex commands, but  she seems to have some atypical patterns of speech (at least from what I can tell).  For example, she often substitutes several different initial sounds in words with the /d/ sound.  (e.g. 'deemas twee' for Christmas tree; 'Denny' for Penny).  I worry that perhaps there is some sort of issue inside her ears that makes her hear differently.  Dr. Mitchell was not overly concerned, but suggested that we visit a pediatric audiologist simply to make sure that everything is hunky-dory in those sweet little ears.  Most likely everything will check out just fine, but I'll be thankful for the peace of mind.  Then, the best news of all will be that she is in the clear until her next well check.  Praise be to God for our healthy girl!

Resolved

I'm usually not one to make New Year's resolutions.  It's not that I necessarily have something against them; it's just that I feel like I shouldn't have to wait until the beginning of the year to make a change in my life. Furthermore, it's like I have some sort of psychological block specifically against New Year's resolutions.  I just can't seem to keep them up. However, this year, I do have one specific idea that I'm going to work hard to maintain.  This blog is basically my online baby book for the girls - really, it's more like my love letter to my children.  So, my goal is to stay current with this blog.  And, to stay current, I have to get caught up.  In other words, you may see a lot of flashbacks interspersed with our current happenings.  Look for our "Way Back Weekend" posts to find out what we've been up to for the past six months.  Now it's out on the interwebz...hopefully this small measure of accountability will keep me current.  After all, this mama's love still grows!