In the Wilds of Suburbia

This morning, our little family took a nice walk through our neighborhood down to the trail by the creek. I metioned to John how I never walk this way by myself anymore on account of the coyotes. Yes, folks, that's right, coyotes. Apparently there aren't enough cute woodland creatures to go around because the coyotes have taken to wandering around my neighborhood in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY!! I know that if I encountered a coyote, I would have to sacrifice Penny to it, take Cora and high-tail it out of there. Frankly, I just don't really want to do that! John's casual suggestion was that I could just get a taser. Okay, sure, I'll get close enough to the hungry, diseased beast to taser it! Knowing me, I'd probably forget to turn my taser on. Then, I'd be on the news. . . and in People magazine. . .and, I wouldn't even get the free clothes and photo shoot for it.

So, as we are walking today, I'm feeling even less secure. We all know John can run faster than me. For that matter, Penny can, too. If you do the math, this leaves me to get eaten by wild dogs. . .with no taser! Like I was saying, as I was enjoying (?) the leisurely (?) walk, I happen to look at the stump of the tree with a nice, large hole in it. I'm thinking what a wonderful home it would be for a squirrel or lizard when I notice a small head slowly ducking down into the safety of the tree trunk. At this point, I am giddy with excitement because I thought I had found a sweet little garden snake. (For those of you who are wondering, I'm not afraid of snakes. Why be afraid of snakes when you can be afraid of far scarier things like crickets and butterflies!) Like a small child, I am begging John to let me go look at it. John, apparently the only adult present, is a little more wary. So, he goes over to check out the stump first. That's when he discovers (from a safe distance) that I have not found your sweet little innocent garden snake, but rather a real live Texas rattle snake. And, I can admit that upon its identification, my toes curled up just a little bit inside my sneakers. John did allow me to get a good look at it so I would not make the same mistake in the future. At this point, the snake, tired of our prying eyes ducks farther down into the tree where he is no longer visible to us. John turns to me and casually says "We better get going 'cuz I don't know where he's going to pop up." In my head, the next few seconds of our walk play out a bit like a cartoon. By the time John turned around to leave, there was only a Melissa shaped cloud of dust with a stroller and Penny being dragged behind. Guess I won't need me a taser after all!